Fifty-One, Sabbath

Fifty-One

Sabbath

28 June 1824

Yesterday I went to services, and John stopped by an hour early to walk with me. 

As we walked, it was fresh upon my mind the last time we had ventured down this path, and the reason for our tardiness to the class meeting. I have given this much thought, and believe that I can, indeed, trust the Lord, but for now, I believe that I may be able to trust John even more.  However, I did not wish to be tardy once again, so I refrained from talking about a certain matter at that point.

We instead delighted in what was a very beautiful day, albeit warm.  I took care today to look my very best, and for the first time, I wore a bonnet that I had been given by Father.  I had to think on this decision, for it would be giving Father credit, in a way, although he would not be at services to see me wear it.  Instead, vanity gave over, and the lightest blue bonnet, which matched my frock, was upon my head by nine thirty in the forenoon.   John was wearing the same thing that I have seen him wear for every service, and for every class meeting.  I believe that perhaps it is his only outfit for such occasions.

The waters of the Coosa, as we walked along it, seemed to sparkle, the sunlight dancing off the rivulets.  We could spy some fish.  It was as though the fish knew that we had no pole, and no ability to go fishing on the Sabbath Day.  The air was warm with the scent of something that was blooming; I know not what it was, but it was heavenly.  And the sky was a pale blue, as the warmer weather has chased away the deeper hues.  I thought, oh I hope that John notices that my bonnet matches the sky!

But I've grown to know that on the Sabbath Day, John's thoughts are always heavenward, or at least upon that which concerns our souls, and so I turned my attention away from the mundane.  I am learning that while I do not know the Bible at all, nor of the teachings of the Methodist Church, I do know that I can learn all that I need to know for now from being with John.  He has enough zeal for the both of us, and I do not mean this mockingly.  He speaks with such enthusiasm on matters of the soul, and knows how to capture our attention and hold it.  I fear that he just may out-preach the preacher, with all due respect to Reverend Terry, outside of the Terry place.  I suspect that were he not engaged in farming and inventing, he would make a fine minister of the Gospel.

As we arrived, I looked for Nan and Joseph--for I believe that I can call him that now--and I saw them come up the path with Susie a respectful distance behind.  It was not the happy couple, smiling and talking in excited tones, who got my attention.

I have found myself watching Susie much more closely now, seeing her in a whole new way.  I saw her with a certain gleam in her eye, and with what looked like true contentment in her demeanor.  She always brings the largest basket of food for the luncheon, and she is the most enthusiastic exclaimer in the services.  I believe that six days of the week, she truly loves the seventh, and not just because it is a day of rest. 

Today I noticed that Susie takes special care to look nice, too; very modest, but very clean, there being no hint of cabin dirt or barnyard straw anywhere on her person.  She was wearing her hair bound up and tucked underneath an old bonnet of Patsy's, the latter giving it to Susie once she decided she had no further use for it.

The services were unremarkable, and I began daydreaming what it would be like if John were the person speaking instead.  I suppose this is not a proper thought to have.

After the services were over and the luncheon begun, the word was quickly spread about that Nan and Joseph were engaged.  When asked when the wedding would be, Joseph first looked at Nancy, and then said that the date had not been determined, and was a detail that they needed to discuss.

When the four of us--Joseph and Nan, and John and I--had a moment alone, Joseph explained to us that while Father had given his permission for the marriage, that there was a proviso.  He said that if Nancy were to receive a slave as a wedding present, she would have to wait until she was the age of majority to receive the slave in her own right, independent of the trusteeship of her husband.  Joseph was clearly displeased with this proviso, and Nan was displeased that Joseph was displeased. 

For my part, I was infuriated.  For this is how Father was asserting himself in between the two, and how he was trying to become important again.  I am all too familiar with the legal issues that came about when Father reneged on an agreement to give my sister Elizabeth a slave upon her wedding, and my brother-in-law had to sue for breach of promise as a result.  I am not certain if the matter was settled out of court, but Elizabeth eventually did receive the slave.  I do not believe that Joseph, nor for that matter, Nan, knows of the circumstance concerning Elizabeth, for Nan never cared to hear anything about Father, nor about business, nor about the past.  This situation certainly puts a damper upon their excitement, for the receipt of a slave is no small thing, the Methodist views on slavery notwithstanding.

My own views on the Methodist views on slavery focuses on the ironic nature of their arguments.  For how can any Methodist own a slave if it is their conviction that the institution is wrong?  I understand some of the arguments, but how can they justify buying one, and paying full price, and not liberating them if they have the funds to do so?  Indeed, John's own parents own slaves, or so I understand.  It will be sometime before I point out this discrepancy in their thinking, for John cannot allow any criticism of Methodism in his presence.

It then occurred to me to wonder--which slave will Father give to Nan?  Joseph is a farmer and a coachmaker, and he no doubt could use a strong man to help him.  I believe that Nan does pretty well within the house, but once she starts having babies, she will need help.  With the giving of a female slave, if she be of childbearing age, then her issue becomes a source of future assets, although a present drain.

I have much more to write, for today, an important discussion was had.  But the hour is late, and I need to think more on this before writing about it.